Forever Young: why do i do this to myself?

Blog Manifesto

This blog is dedicated, as the title would suggest, to the qualities of being young. We are young writers. We are playful and sensitive, fluid and changing. We are unashamed with our art. We wonder at the world, puzzle over the meanings of things and twirl in delight at images and ideas that float by, grabbing at them as they pass. We are curious and constantly inquiring and prying concepts open and taking assumptions apart. We are on the ground, close to the earth. We have bare feet and wiggle our toes into nature. We carry our blankies still and wrap up cozy and comfy with each other and tell ghost stories and shiver at creepy things. We laugh and we cry and we take a lot of naps, drained from our outings and exertions.

We write as gifts to each other, tying them up in ribbon and leaving them around for each other to find, hiding and waiting for the person to wake up and read. Surprise! We weave our stories together to create a bond. One writes, then the other. then another again. We have a shared reality that we have crafted, bit by piece by patch, by string. We write simple, honest authentic things, with our unique voices. You can tell each one of us from the other, without knowing who wrote what. Our voices are clear and gentle and original. We whisper and our personalities roar! Like children, our feelings are strong, our passion for what we write shakes us. We are moved and sometimes left breathless, by our own words or the words of each other. We cannonball into each others spaces. We fall backward into each others writing, like into a pile of leaves or a soft bed. We gobble and grin and ask for more. (footnote kudos to JC)

Then we go to bed, wake up to a new day and do it all over again!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

why do i do this to myself?

fatigue bites..

rosie says..'im too tired to write about fatigue.. hee hee' ....damn straight ;)

Fatigue Definition. Fatigue is physical and/or mental exhaustion that can be triggered by stress, medication, overwork, or mental and physical illness or disease.

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i have two students who are back to back on tuesdays. they are neighbors. same age.. 8. girls. both started taking piano lessons just before christmas. i stopped accepting piano students a couple years ago.. its not my forte.. but they were referrals from another student and i never turn away a referral if i have a time slot open.

sighs.

so, just last month, both students' mothers decide they would like each of their daughters to also take voice lessons. each student taking a 30 minute piano lesson followed by 30 minutes of voice. against my better judgement, i agree.. but the stipulation is that they be able to stay focused. they get 3 months to settle into the routine.. if things dont run smoothly, i reserve the right to stop lessons.

ugh.

i want to stop lessons now.

today was an exercise in patience. i can handle kids that bounce. i can handle high energy, talkativeness, giggles, lack of focus.. basically all the stuff that comes with working with young kids. but these two.. have given me pause. i think i could handle one at a time. but back to back.. week after week.. has tested my endurance, my patience, and haha.. my tolerance. i am dog tired. worn thin. drained. raw. beyond fatigued.

i am too tired to even describe in detail the ordeal.
the thought of reliving it.. nearly sends me screaming from the room..

1 comment:

SharonMarch 20, 2012 at 5:45 PM
Boy...I can relate. Each year the special students were tougher, their diagnosis more challenging, their need for specific curriculum changing constantly and I had to adjust to it, make new, and change my approach. When the students finally got so challenged that they needed a full time aide all day, my life got better. Now, there was someone there in the room who shared the struggle, successes, joys and frustrations. Another adult to talk and laugh with. And cry and moan occasionally. It made all the difference.
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