Thursday, February 9, 2012
the voice of his own son..
In all the excitement of the cousins coming up from Texas and the rest of the family finally getting together after all these years.. he hadnt even noticed the little beige Corolla with Pennsylvania tags pull up into the lane and park quietly beside his truck.
The phone rings. Aunt M answers.
"Hellooo.." she giggles.
"Ok, here's your Father."
"Hey Dad, happy birthday."
"Thanks, son. The family is all here. Wish you could be here."
The door to the enclosed front porch slams shut.
"I know, Dad. Things just got so busy here."
"What's all that noise in the background......"
~'And listening, he heard the murmuring of a man's voice, and it was the voice of his own son.'~
click....
"SURPRISE!"
the voice of his own son
'And listening, he heard the murmuring of a man's voice, and it was the voice of his own son.'
Betrayal or trouble making, was it O-lan starting trouble or was the eldest son going too often into the inner courts cozying up to Lotus, Wang Lungs younger wife. When you have several wives and one is old and ugly and no longer visited at night, one wonders as to the motive, behind the suggestion, "Come home early unexpectedly. "
Families are complicated systems.
=====================================================================
The tensions between a father and a son, as the son matures into manhood. I know only what I see in my husband and son. My gentle quiet husband is starting to rile up as my son gets larger and louder in his complaint and treatment of me. The other day he told him in strong voice. "Don't talk to MY WIFE that way." And he has started checking to see that son has not been bedeviling me.
I believe it to be the job of men to encourage their sons to go out into the world. Hopefully it can be done with graceful love and tenderness and not at the end of a boot or a bamboo rod.
Betrayal or trouble making, was it O-lan starting trouble or was the eldest son going too often into the inner courts cozying up to Lotus, Wang Lungs younger wife. When you have several wives and one is old and ugly and no longer visited at night, one wonders as to the motive, behind the suggestion, "Come home early unexpectedly. "
Families are complicated systems.
=====================================================================
The tensions between a father and a son, as the son matures into manhood. I know only what I see in my husband and son. My gentle quiet husband is starting to rile up as my son gets larger and louder in his complaint and treatment of me. The other day he told him in strong voice. "Don't talk to MY WIFE that way." And he has started checking to see that son has not been bedeviling me.
I believe it to be the job of men to encourage their sons to go out into the world. Hopefully it can be done with graceful love and tenderness and not at the end of a boot or a bamboo rod.
winning..
whats it mean to win?
im competitive in nature. i dont mind losing.. but winning is a thrill.. a mini adrenaline rush..
just dont play me in monopoly. i hate that game. but if you wanna play, i will.. just be warned, game pieces and monies will fly across the room at any given moment in time. im also a cutthroat euchre player.. it's the only game i am superstitious about.. i wont play unless the partner and i are sitting in the right position.. we will never lose if we are sitting facing each other in the direction the bathtub faces. dont ask.. its a quirk, and it works.
i remember the first time i won NATS
i had placed third my freshman year in college
then my sophomore year i was sick and goofed off the whole night before in the hotel (grins) and didnt place at all
then i transferred over to WCC my junior year.. where i was surrounded with others who had tremendous musical talent
i remember finding the audition room that morning and seeing the list of over 25 students singing in my category. i stuck my ear to the door and heard the first audition.. and was intimidated as hell.
my time came.. i went in.. not defeated.. just without a care
i remember hearing whispers when i left the room
3 hours later, im sitting in the back of the chapel where the winners concert and awards were about to take place. goofing off with a friend, not even paying attention.
JUNIOR MEN division.. FIRST PLACE.. my name is called
but im still goofing off and not paying attention.
they call my name again. my friend is sitting there staring at me wide-eyed.
what?
get the hell up there and take your prize!
WHAT?
i stand, look around baffled, and jog to the front of the chapel with a huge grin on my face.
that moment set the tone for my entire career.
it was affirmation that i was on the right track..
and i started taking myself more seriously.. just a little
this weekend, my students embark on the same journey i began so long ago. i tell them it isnt about winning. its about the experience.. the feedback.. the opportunity.
but winning sure would be nice. ;)
im competitive in nature. i dont mind losing.. but winning is a thrill.. a mini adrenaline rush..
just dont play me in monopoly. i hate that game. but if you wanna play, i will.. just be warned, game pieces and monies will fly across the room at any given moment in time. im also a cutthroat euchre player.. it's the only game i am superstitious about.. i wont play unless the partner and i are sitting in the right position.. we will never lose if we are sitting facing each other in the direction the bathtub faces. dont ask.. its a quirk, and it works.
i remember the first time i won NATS
i had placed third my freshman year in college
then my sophomore year i was sick and goofed off the whole night before in the hotel (grins) and didnt place at all
then i transferred over to WCC my junior year.. where i was surrounded with others who had tremendous musical talent
i remember finding the audition room that morning and seeing the list of over 25 students singing in my category. i stuck my ear to the door and heard the first audition.. and was intimidated as hell.
my time came.. i went in.. not defeated.. just without a care
i remember hearing whispers when i left the room
3 hours later, im sitting in the back of the chapel where the winners concert and awards were about to take place. goofing off with a friend, not even paying attention.
JUNIOR MEN division.. FIRST PLACE.. my name is called
but im still goofing off and not paying attention.
they call my name again. my friend is sitting there staring at me wide-eyed.
what?
get the hell up there and take your prize!
WHAT?
i stand, look around baffled, and jog to the front of the chapel with a huge grin on my face.
that moment set the tone for my entire career.
it was affirmation that i was on the right track..
and i started taking myself more seriously.. just a little
this weekend, my students embark on the same journey i began so long ago. i tell them it isnt about winning. its about the experience.. the feedback.. the opportunity.
but winning sure would be nice. ;)
{[ Winning ]}
Easter...
Back when I was a kid we had family easter events
at my great grandmothers house in her back yard.
Way back then I fell in love with the smell of bacon
coming from the house. While me and my cusins
played. Whole back yard full of buttercups and
blooming irises.
Now its nothing like that anymore. Its hard to even
find an easter event to go to. And my son is the only
grandchild in the family. So we stared going to public
places like churches and such.
Easter is the time for my family to win at something.
Having younger brothers and a son I've been through
this ritual more then once. I love watching kids go
crazy over mulitcolored easter eggs full of candy.
Thier eyes twinkling over the winning baskets
full of chocolate bunnies and furry plushed animals.
Our family is very competitive when it comes to simple
little wants of easter baskets. My fondest memory of
winning was when me and Cameron went to a place
with my aunt and her sons wife.
We werrrre ready. Running shoes tied, nice clothes
and a big basket that I personally painted and decorated.
Mind you this is one of those apple crate baskets. Haha.
We were ready to winn! Sounds like we cheated justtt a
bit. O well..I learned not to have a basket that could hold
only 20 easter eggs.
Off the kids went as fast as their legs could carry them.
Funny they all went the same direction as each other, my son
on the other hand not. Hes smarrt like his momma. He went
the oposite direction grabbing up eggs like crazy. His basket
was so full he was holding them with his shirt.
Guess who won?? My child. I'll never forget the look on his
face when they called his name to get his prize. They took his
picture and posted it in the newspaper for all to see..
Back when I was a kid we had family easter events
at my great grandmothers house in her back yard.
Way back then I fell in love with the smell of bacon
coming from the house. While me and my cusins
played. Whole back yard full of buttercups and
blooming irises.
Now its nothing like that anymore. Its hard to even
find an easter event to go to. And my son is the only
grandchild in the family. So we stared going to public
places like churches and such.
Easter is the time for my family to win at something.
Having younger brothers and a son I've been through
this ritual more then once. I love watching kids go
crazy over mulitcolored easter eggs full of candy.
Thier eyes twinkling over the winning baskets
full of chocolate bunnies and furry plushed animals.
Our family is very competitive when it comes to simple
little wants of easter baskets. My fondest memory of
winning was when me and Cameron went to a place
with my aunt and her sons wife.
We werrrre ready. Running shoes tied, nice clothes
and a big basket that I personally painted and decorated.
Mind you this is one of those apple crate baskets. Haha.
We were ready to winn! Sounds like we cheated justtt a
bit. O well..I learned not to have a basket that could hold
only 20 easter eggs.
Off the kids went as fast as their legs could carry them.
Funny they all went the same direction as each other, my son
on the other hand not. Hes smarrt like his momma. He went
the oposite direction grabbing up eggs like crazy. His basket
was so full he was holding them with his shirt.
Guess who won?? My child. I'll never forget the look on his
face when they called his name to get his prize. They took his
picture and posted it in the newspaper for all to see..
I won!
I got here first. I tripped up Reese and side blocked Amy to reach the starting line. JC was pretty close behind, with those long legs of his, but he found his typewriter ribbon all tangled up. Who could have done that?
Occasionally I am ruthless in competitions. We once entered our baby in a crawling contest. He won first prize in the preliminary. He crawled right to mama to get a piece of cookie. We were ecstatic. Then the next Saturday we were in the next level where babies from different stores came to get the grand prize. We sort of practiced a bit at home. but tried to be cool about it. Wouldn't want to over-train. The crowd was festive. There were photographers. (okay only one) The energy was intense. He must have realized how bad we wanted this, his little lip went out and his brow furrowed.
GO! and all the parents are pleading at the end, waving binkies, bottles, remote controls. We had made a serious mistake and fed him first. should have starved the little tike, he looked too content at the end. watching and taking in the antics at the other side. That licorice wasn't doing the trick. Finally he's on the move and coming on strong. Come to mama, sweetheart, come to mama!
One little baby was ahead of him. the only other serious contender. One had been disqualified when he got up and walked but this little girl was moving up fast. I yell, "Oh No!" in my dismay as she is about to cross the finish line and scare the everloving bejeesus out of her. She turns around and goes back to her mom.
It was a hollow victory.
=========================================================
Writing here is not a competition. You write, you win. Everybody gets to win every time when we read each others pieces. All the pieces make a nice morning's work. We are all winners. We rock.
Occasionally I am ruthless in competitions. We once entered our baby in a crawling contest. He won first prize in the preliminary. He crawled right to mama to get a piece of cookie. We were ecstatic. Then the next Saturday we were in the next level where babies from different stores came to get the grand prize. We sort of practiced a bit at home. but tried to be cool about it. Wouldn't want to over-train. The crowd was festive. There were photographers. (okay only one) The energy was intense. He must have realized how bad we wanted this, his little lip went out and his brow furrowed.
GO! and all the parents are pleading at the end, waving binkies, bottles, remote controls. We had made a serious mistake and fed him first. should have starved the little tike, he looked too content at the end. watching and taking in the antics at the other side. That licorice wasn't doing the trick. Finally he's on the move and coming on strong. Come to mama, sweetheart, come to mama!
One little baby was ahead of him. the only other serious contender. One had been disqualified when he got up and walked but this little girl was moving up fast. I yell, "Oh No!" in my dismay as she is about to cross the finish line and scare the everloving bejeesus out of her. She turns around and goes back to her mom.
It was a hollow victory.
=========================================================
Writing here is not a competition. You write, you win. Everybody gets to win every time when we read each others pieces. All the pieces make a nice morning's work. We are all winners. We rock.
My Child {[ Thursday 9,2012 ]}
Thursday,9,2012
I have made this decision to start writing about my son. Everyday.
Talking about my son is when I am at my happiest. So from now on
I will be doing this.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today, I know was going to be like any other day of my life. Simple
and short. Wake up, get Cameron dressed, jackets on, tread through
the neighbors yard up the hill to the bus stop to stand in thirty degree
weather. Not just..cold but ungodly cold. Damn wind blowing my hair
in my face as he clenches to me and snuggles his face deep down in
my side while holding his backpack in my other hand. So up on the
hilltop awaiting the bus we are, hes done took my jacket and put
himself in it as he always does when he gets cold.
Then I see those little green eyes peak up at me all tired and lazy.
'Mom..are we going to play our game? It's cold.."
Me and him have had this ritual since he started school that every
morning we play I spy. He lovees I spy. He's eye spied so many
items that I don't have many more to let him guess anymore..
Soo we start our fun game waiting on this bus to arrive..which is
always super early or super late. It's never in between, hence the
reason we stand there for ten freakin minutes in the cold.
Cameron..peaking around standing on his tipytoes staring over
my arm.
"I spyyy sometinnn...green momma."
"Grass?... Noooo, Uhhh the house over there?... Noooo."
So we continue our special little game for at least 3 minutes
while I can't find what the heck this kid is seeing thats green.
Soo finally I just gave in and told him I give upp. He giggles
and steps back away from me as if he didn't know that it was
cold anymore and points at my face.
"Hehehe momma, its your eyesss! Your soo silly the color
was on you the whole time!"
Well silly me never thought to even mention that. Haha.
I gave him a great bigg ole hug while the bus started
pulling around the corner. Soft little I love you's told to
one another as he sighs deep ready to get his day started.
I swear if I could I would get on that bus and go with him everyday...
I have made this decision to start writing about my son. Everyday.
Talking about my son is when I am at my happiest. So from now on
I will be doing this.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today, I know was going to be like any other day of my life. Simple
and short. Wake up, get Cameron dressed, jackets on, tread through
the neighbors yard up the hill to the bus stop to stand in thirty degree
weather. Not just..cold but ungodly cold. Damn wind blowing my hair
in my face as he clenches to me and snuggles his face deep down in
my side while holding his backpack in my other hand. So up on the
hilltop awaiting the bus we are, hes done took my jacket and put
himself in it as he always does when he gets cold.
Then I see those little green eyes peak up at me all tired and lazy.
'Mom..are we going to play our game? It's cold.."
Me and him have had this ritual since he started school that every
morning we play I spy. He lovees I spy. He's eye spied so many
items that I don't have many more to let him guess anymore..
Soo we start our fun game waiting on this bus to arrive..which is
always super early or super late. It's never in between, hence the
reason we stand there for ten freakin minutes in the cold.
Cameron..peaking around standing on his tipytoes staring over
my arm.
"I spyyy sometinnn...green momma."
"Grass?... Noooo, Uhhh the house over there?... Noooo."
So we continue our special little game for at least 3 minutes
while I can't find what the heck this kid is seeing thats green.
Soo finally I just gave in and told him I give upp. He giggles
and steps back away from me as if he didn't know that it was
cold anymore and points at my face.
"Hehehe momma, its your eyesss! Your soo silly the color
was on you the whole time!"
Well silly me never thought to even mention that. Haha.
I gave him a great bigg ole hug while the bus started
pulling around the corner. Soft little I love you's told to
one another as he sighs deep ready to get his day started.
I swear if I could I would get on that bus and go with him everyday...
Disappointment
I am not a happy camper this morning. My tent leaked through the night and my sleeping bag is damp and clammy on my legs. It's raining off and on and overcast. It's just a little bit too chilly for even the hardiest of us to go swimming. It is sweater weather, the last week in August in Wisconsin.
Have you ever spent the day inside a leaky tent? You can't touch the walls because if you do the water will wick through. You read or play cards with your tent mates, adjusting your bodies around in varying contortions to stretch out your legs, almost. You run off to the outhouse, made all the more aromatic by being watered down and the windows closed against the rain.
Great, you've started your period. You stand in the rain fly of the picnic table holding an umbrella and trying to make some tea to ease your cramps. Being young, you have fertile cramps, not old worn out periods, but optimistic ones. It is going to be a long day if the rain holds out.
============================================================
I am not a happy camper this morning. My son is home... AGAIN. from school. He needs to be in school. He's got all the energy of a well kid, the giddiness of a kid who's off the hook and the crankiness of a kid who is a bit sick and it is driving me crazy. I want my peace and quiet, so I can think and write.
I thought my hubby had left me the new car to drive, but took the keys with him. So I was super disappointed and had all these negative thoughts of all the fun I was missing without a car. Then I called him and he told me where to find the keys.
Darn it. Now I am curiously deflated. All those fun destinations which I had imagined up for myself, just fizzled away in the reality of being able to go to them. I had made peace with my disappointment and had worked myself up into a comfortable snit. Now what? I have no excuses.
Meh.
========================================================
Have you ever spent the day inside a leaky tent? You can't touch the walls because if you do the water will wick through. You read or play cards with your tent mates, adjusting your bodies around in varying contortions to stretch out your legs, almost. You run off to the outhouse, made all the more aromatic by being watered down and the windows closed against the rain.
Great, you've started your period. You stand in the rain fly of the picnic table holding an umbrella and trying to make some tea to ease your cramps. Being young, you have fertile cramps, not old worn out periods, but optimistic ones. It is going to be a long day if the rain holds out.
============================================================
I am not a happy camper this morning. My son is home... AGAIN. from school. He needs to be in school. He's got all the energy of a well kid, the giddiness of a kid who's off the hook and the crankiness of a kid who is a bit sick and it is driving me crazy. I want my peace and quiet, so I can think and write.
I thought my hubby had left me the new car to drive, but took the keys with him. So I was super disappointed and had all these negative thoughts of all the fun I was missing without a car. Then I called him and he told me where to find the keys.
Darn it. Now I am curiously deflated. All those fun destinations which I had imagined up for myself, just fizzled away in the reality of being able to go to them. I had made peace with my disappointment and had worked myself up into a comfortable snit. Now what? I have no excuses.
Meh.
========================================================
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