Sunday, Feb. 12,2012
Have you ever been so tired and sore that you would just be as happy to stay were
you land once you get home, such as a bed, couch, hell even the floor as soon as you walk through the door?
Lazy bones popping as you stretch over to grab for a chip out of a bag.
Feet numb and pained but once shoes and socks are discarded that soft easing sigh lets out of you chest once you lean back in your favorite cuddling spot?
"God..it's good to be home..."
Finally once everything starts becoming normal after three days of hard work in
horrible weather conditions and standing on your feet from five am to six pm.
Lips
chapped and sore, my son hugs me.
Just a simple quick little hug was all that I
needed.
He decided to make things while I was away and missing him during his weekend vacation from school.
I know he is smart and bright but never seen him just..make pretend with toys.
He's never been much of a..toy playing child.
Always been hard to buy for during Christmas and so on.
The simplest things such as a box will be played with for hours, even days compaired to an expensive toy in a toy store..
So there I am, just laying were I landed when he brings his 'toy' he had been making all day while mommy was gone.
Just a plan, boring cardboard shoe box.
Glasses slipped back on face while my eyes try to keep open for him to show me his new toy.
Simple ink pen drawing of a house on the side and scribbled lines going to and fro from side to side on the lid.
No matter what it is I always praise him for everything he does.
"Open itttt mommmm..."
Slowly I wiggle and stretch to raise up to see the contents.
A new soft napkin lined the bottom perfectly from corner to corner as the carpet.
Simple drawn door, windows, and a table on one wall. A dresser and lamp on the opposite side.
A bed made with toothpicks and notebook paper in the corner with a cute little rubber monster finger puppet standing in the middle of the floor.
Just the coolest thing I had ever seen him create.
These simple things in my life is what I cherish the most. And I hope you all do the same.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
..my ma..
they say my ma was ten feet tall the day that she died
i dunno i wasnt there
withered and weary and frightened
she stood ten feet tall
she was ten feet tall
when they sent her out to field
unwanted
riding her cow, Buttercup
she was ten feet tall
the day my daddy married her
the picture says it all
i never saw her smile like That
she was ten feet tall
when my brother and i were born
and they wouldnt let her see him
and they took away his Leg
she was ten feet tall
the day i found her in the closet crying
the day she read the newspaper..
and saw her daddy was Dead
she was ten feet tall
when daddy had his stroke
tenderly rubbing lotion on his feet
while he lay thinking he was a POW..
she was ten feet tall
the day my brother walked
when my daddy walked my sister down the aisle.. just 6 months after his stroke
and the day i sang at Carnegie Hall
sometimes i feel i am ten feet tall, like my ma...
i dunno i wasnt there
withered and weary and frightened
she stood ten feet tall
she was ten feet tall
when they sent her out to field
unwanted
riding her cow, Buttercup
she was ten feet tall
the day my daddy married her
the picture says it all
i never saw her smile like That
she was ten feet tall
when my brother and i were born
and they wouldnt let her see him
and they took away his Leg
she was ten feet tall
the day i found her in the closet crying
the day she read the newspaper..
and saw her daddy was Dead
she was ten feet tall
when daddy had his stroke
tenderly rubbing lotion on his feet
while he lay thinking he was a POW..
she was ten feet tall
the day my brother walked
when my daddy walked my sister down the aisle.. just 6 months after his stroke
and the day i sang at Carnegie Hall
sometimes i feel i am ten feet tall, like my ma...
Perspective
Bursts of energy, appearing almost random. Signals travel, convoluted in their path... thoughts form. They swirl, ethereal... fleeting. Thoughts take form as words, breaking out into the world...
Another mind hears. Words lose form, becoming thoughts.
These thoughts are not the same. They are radically different. The thoughts put into the speaking of the words carry with them the weight of a lifetime of experiences and beliefs.
"I love you". Spoken with all the starry eyed emotion of a first love. Such powerful feelings... but what do I perceive of it? A mere glimpse. I try to imagine but can only see perhaps what I, myself, am capable of feeling. So little. To understand her mind as she spoke those words... I cannot even view myself as she sees me. Do we even define love the same way?
Really, we barely communicate. It's almost comical.
I'm laughing just thinking about it.
The words I write reach your mind with so little of the original meaning. It is with this in mind that I try to help you see as I do. As I strive to.
I see the universe, so incomprehensibly vast and unknown as it is, governed by a relatively simple set of laws. Some of these we like to think we know, some of them are, as yet, mysteries to us. But, even without our comprehension they exist, determining all that is, all that was... all that will be.
If we could know the exact state of the universe as a whole, if we could know all the rules it runs by, we could turn the gears. With unlimited computing power, we could turn the cogs of the clockwork universe, turn them back in time.. see the world as it was at any given time!
Within this machine, all is equal. The lowliest pebble exists following the same rules as the greatest of kings... everything they do nothing more than simple math. The king, in all his power, has no more free will than the pebble.
In this view, there is no good, no evil. No right or wrong. There is no judgement, for what meaning would there be in passing judgement on that which is inevitable, predetermined?
Ah... but to think is to judge. We do it, regardless of our will, regardless of any philosophical viewpoint. What an amusing little conundrum...
In this same vein exists another philosophical musing. Simulation theory. In the future, we can suppose, there will exist a computer far more powerful than any known today. Perhaps it will contain a program, containing a virtual world. Within this world will exist virtual people... if you've seen the Matrix this is easily envisioned. But in this scenario, these people have no "real bodies". They have no "reality" to wake up to. They are mere code...
Perhaps there are many of these simulations. If all of this is reasonably within imagination, we can suspect it mathematically probable that you and I exist as nothing more than code within a machine... perhaps just a child's game. His own little dollhouse of the future... sorry, the present.
My views are rarely agreed with. People like control. They prefer to see themselves as masters of their worlds. They do not like to see themselves so small, their fates already determined. Perhaps you are one of the few who will understand my world.
Perhaps not. Either way, I hope you will better understand when I write of the past. When I write of pain, it is not a bad memory. I do not see it that way.
Perhaps now, you can understand why.
Another mind hears. Words lose form, becoming thoughts.
These thoughts are not the same. They are radically different. The thoughts put into the speaking of the words carry with them the weight of a lifetime of experiences and beliefs.
"I love you". Spoken with all the starry eyed emotion of a first love. Such powerful feelings... but what do I perceive of it? A mere glimpse. I try to imagine but can only see perhaps what I, myself, am capable of feeling. So little. To understand her mind as she spoke those words... I cannot even view myself as she sees me. Do we even define love the same way?
Really, we barely communicate. It's almost comical.
I'm laughing just thinking about it.
The words I write reach your mind with so little of the original meaning. It is with this in mind that I try to help you see as I do. As I strive to.
I see the universe, so incomprehensibly vast and unknown as it is, governed by a relatively simple set of laws. Some of these we like to think we know, some of them are, as yet, mysteries to us. But, even without our comprehension they exist, determining all that is, all that was... all that will be.
If we could know the exact state of the universe as a whole, if we could know all the rules it runs by, we could turn the gears. With unlimited computing power, we could turn the cogs of the clockwork universe, turn them back in time.. see the world as it was at any given time!
Within this machine, all is equal. The lowliest pebble exists following the same rules as the greatest of kings... everything they do nothing more than simple math. The king, in all his power, has no more free will than the pebble.
In this view, there is no good, no evil. No right or wrong. There is no judgement, for what meaning would there be in passing judgement on that which is inevitable, predetermined?
Ah... but to think is to judge. We do it, regardless of our will, regardless of any philosophical viewpoint. What an amusing little conundrum...
In this same vein exists another philosophical musing. Simulation theory. In the future, we can suppose, there will exist a computer far more powerful than any known today. Perhaps it will contain a program, containing a virtual world. Within this world will exist virtual people... if you've seen the Matrix this is easily envisioned. But in this scenario, these people have no "real bodies". They have no "reality" to wake up to. They are mere code...
Perhaps there are many of these simulations. If all of this is reasonably within imagination, we can suspect it mathematically probable that you and I exist as nothing more than code within a machine... perhaps just a child's game. His own little dollhouse of the future... sorry, the present.
My views are rarely agreed with. People like control. They prefer to see themselves as masters of their worlds. They do not like to see themselves so small, their fates already determined. Perhaps you are one of the few who will understand my world.
Perhaps not. Either way, I hope you will better understand when I write of the past. When I write of pain, it is not a bad memory. I do not see it that way.
Perhaps now, you can understand why.
A new perspective
My favorite story about perspective is the one about the wheel. If you fix a light onto a wheel rim and turn the wheel what figure does the movement of the light describe in space. Well, it depends on where the viewer is.
From the front the light appears to go round and round. in a circle. but... if the viewer is on the hub of the wheel.. the light doesn't appear to move at all. If the viewer is looking from the side of the wheel at 90 degrees from the face of the wheel, then the light appears to goes up and down in a straight line.
We have added a new viewer and writer to this blog. A new perspective to cherish and encourage. May his light whirl and dance with ours as we write and share our unique perspectives on life.
==============================================================
Forced perspective is fun to draw. I get a kick out of drawing a big foot stomping on a little bug from the bug's view. I shorten up the knees and expand out the shoe and distort the picture with glee.
Distorting reality is fun. (big grin) I am particularly fond of impossible objects such as are in the works of M.C. Escher.
Tenaciousness
I cling hard to my principles. My son was trying to pry me off of my stand that he was to stay inside and not go out due to drug use with his peers. He whined, he wheedled. He threatened dire consequences. He called me names, he pounded on the locked door that I had retreated behind. He went at it over and over again for several hours. I held firm and played pool with my buddy Reese. He finally settled down and accepted the situation. He apologized and gave me a hug.
When I have something hard to do, like commando parenting or sitting at the dentist, I reward myself with something special. Yesterday that was buying a prezzie for my big sis Reese who sat by me during the siege.
She got mail. Corny funny messages written in spite of the chaos seeping under the door. Reese loves and collects tools. Jigsaws and tile cutters delight her. I gave her a straight edge and a can of fill paint. She went off to master them. Circles were made into bears. Squares became buildings. She kept at it for several hours.
JC came back home with precious prizes. His students placed three times. He was over the moon and walking 10 feet tall. His students rocked it. He had given them his all. He clung to his principles and it paid off.
You can't stop people from being who they are. You might deflect us for a moment, but we will right ourselves and go on.
When I have something hard to do, like commando parenting or sitting at the dentist, I reward myself with something special. Yesterday that was buying a prezzie for my big sis Reese who sat by me during the siege.
She got mail. Corny funny messages written in spite of the chaos seeping under the door. Reese loves and collects tools. Jigsaws and tile cutters delight her. I gave her a straight edge and a can of fill paint. She went off to master them. Circles were made into bears. Squares became buildings. She kept at it for several hours.
JC came back home with precious prizes. His students placed three times. He was over the moon and walking 10 feet tall. His students rocked it. He had given them his all. He clung to his principles and it paid off.
You can't stop people from being who they are. You might deflect us for a moment, but we will right ourselves and go on.
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