Road trip: Writers workshop

Rosie has another one of her  Great Ideas  this morning. it was for another road trip to a writers conference up in the north woods, to write and visit Reesie.

Unfortunately, the only time JC could take off was in the summer so they made it for July.  LoNoWriMo. the local novel writing month, challenge starts on July 1st at 12 am.   30 days of nothing but novel writing.  50,000 words minimum.   Amy put her son into a month long summer camp on Lake Peealotta. near the Canadian border, so it was convenient for her to come as well.  Reese fired up the rock star bus and brought her youngest daughter with her for some much needed fishing, swimming and R&R. 

Rosie knew the backwoods well and snagged some prime real estate on Lake FoggyOften.  Everyone had their own suite overlooking the lake and there was a floor to ceiling fireplace to gather and write around on the north side of the lodge. The east side was all glass, showcasing the Lake.  The North side was mason work of gorgeous Canadian granite and Pine cross beams.

Yeah something like that...

They planned to arrive for the night before July 1st. so they could stay up and drink wine and giggle around till Midnight to start their novels.   Reese had brought large white boards for outlining her novel.  JC had a bunch of yellow sheets of legal paper bound up in a folder, Rosie had it all in her head and Amy brought some doodles she had done of the different chapters in her book.

The lodge's large grandfather clock stood there ticking as it got closer to Midnight.  They had been laughing loud and long and finally quieted down as they looked expectantly to JC.

GOOOO! he said. with his best baritone vigor.


When suddenly there is a sound overheard of a twin engine sea plane skimming the roof.  They run to the windows and to the door in time to see the plane land deftly near the pier and a lone passenger pop out.

FLY!!  We didn't think he would make it, he said he couldn't come, but there he was!  Ready to write and draw and create chaos out of tranquility.

woo hoo. suddenly they were five strong.

dandelion

the last time i felt like i fit in..

i remember never feeling like i fit in anywhere.  its a common feeling.  fear of being an outcast.  fear of being alone.  you would have never known i felt this way.  i was well liked by most.  but..my brother had all the friends.  i was always the shy goofy one.  i didnt find my legs til college.. far away from his song and dance. 

do i ever really fit in?  does it matter? 

i know people like me.  im 'cute' and 'witty' and 'talented' and 'funny haha'..  but that doesnt make me feel like i fit in.  certainly doesnt mean that i do.  i used to care.

i decided long ago, that i didnt need to fit in anywhere.  i am completely self-sufficient.  this was difficult for me.......im a people pleaser.. to a fault.  but caring what people thought about me was making me unhappy.  i still care a lot about what people think of me.. but i dont care if i fit in. 

because i fit wherever i damn well decide to plant myself.  just for the sheer fact that i am there.  whether people accept me or not, is totally up to them. 

***************************************************************************

i feel like i belong here.  with this crowd.  we share laughs and games and stories.. and a whole lot more.  close personal bonds i will cherish my entire life.  i feel nurtured.  cared for.  loved even.  doesnt mean i really fit in.  just means we share a common goal.. of friendship.. meaningful friendship.  i can be who i am, where i am planted right now.. may my roots grow deep.. like the ruddiest dandelion.  RAWR.

tell about the last time you felt you fit in.

The last time I felt like I fit in was about 10 minutes ago sitting with Reese, Jean, Amy and JC.  I feel like I can be myself most of the time. 


If I hold my breath and watch myself very closely, I can fit in around people for a very short time.  I have to watch my mouth so closely, because I laugh easily and I have to watch out that I don't make jokes. I don't fit in to desk jobs where you have to concentrate and work a deadline.


My last volunteer position was at my son's school library.  I really had to be quiet then.  But the librarian was a wonderful woman with an acerbic wit and we got along like two ducks in a puddle.  She was bright and dedicated to teaching her students and she was opinionated and didn't put up with fools easily.  Yet she was sweet.  I worked with her for part of 6th grade and most of 7th being honestly helpful, freeing her up to work with students while I manned the desk.  I ended up learning the names of half the school's students too.  They knew me and I knew them.  Librarians are a bit like confessors.  Kids come in and blow off steam and tell you their troubles.

My writing is getting too colloquial and full of cheap metaphors.

I digress.

When I ran an infant nursery in Santa Barbara, I was fitting in perfectly to twelve families' lives.   They entrusted me with their children and we built a community from the day care.  When you run a service business, you have to either give people what they want and fit into their needs or you pick your people carefully and have them fit into yours.  I was very picky and weeded out the people who didn't fit it with my philosophy of child rearing.  It made for easier days and harmonious relationships.

{[ Ok..so I'm gonna do it ]}

OK so here goes..

I have never fit in no matter

were I may be.

Every breath I take, I take

it only with me.

People in this world of hate,

is just not for me.

I cry..and I drown in a free

flowing lake.

I'd rather not be sitting here

typing of things

that sadden me everyday.

I had rather be

speaking in verses of feelings

I can not show.

It's a horrible way to live as

you sit back

and keep things so dear to ones

self.

{[ Nightmares ]}

I ..dont dream of happy thoughts, I never have.

My dreams are the same night after night.

Crying..in pain.

I don't much sleep...

and when I don't sleep I get terrible headaches.

My recurring nightmare of being held down out of my will.

Feeling as if I was being punished

for something I had done.

Here lately..

I've slept and dreamt of falling..

It's the same dream everytime for the past week.

Softly drifting down like a feather.

I don't want these dreams to stop.

They are the best I have had in a very

long time..