flowers rofl

good lord i forgot where the damn post button was!! its been too long....



flowers
so many memories wrapped up in them..
i have a strong dislike for some and others i absolutely adore..
everyone has a favorite flower.. well anyone who cares for them..
mine..

the bleeding heart.. not the new fangled hybrid pale pink delicate ones.. i have one of those too.. but the old fashioned deep pink full foliaged ones that bush out huge if you put it in just the right place.  mine is scrawny.  the poor thing has been trampled on .. had insecticide accidentally dripped on it.. transplanted.. and strangled by the onslaught of a determined army of morning glories.  she will rise again in the spring... in a new bed of fresh topsoil and mulch.  and i anxiously await her arrival. 

just like we always awaited the first sign of spring.. when the crocuses ma distributed throughout the lawn popped up out of nowhere.  wow.. i could go through a whole list of 'i remembers'..  just about flowers.

buttercups and herbs and violets and foxglove and most flowers make me think of my ma..
columbine makes me think of goldie..  my great grandmother..
peonies.. my childhood neighbor, janey..
spiderplants.. my brother
lavender.. jenny
daisies.. Bianca.. our whirlwind romance.. our love

this year im planting more daisies.  black eyed susans.. more purple cone flower.. and white daisies.  may our love always be as youthful and fragrant as spring..   

The Scent Lingers

Dan's family had five kids and each of them had a garden plot on the south side of the house.  Dan won an award for a prize eggplant.   His dad would trellis cukes and they would grow five feet tall covered with the veggies.  His sisters grew beans and the most amazing tomato plants.  The New Jersey climate was exceptionally suited for tall over bearing tomato plants.

They didn't grow flowers.

We grew everything that caught my grandparents imagination.  We had as many flowers as we had veggies.  Every shack on our property had a bed of something growing against it to soften the visual edge of flat black tar paper.  Flowers look wonderful against the black backdrops.

We had 4 oclocks against the smokehouse.  I would go over there in the afternoon and check them out to see if they were open yet.  I would stick my nose into the trumpet shaped blossoms and smell in till the petals collasped around my face.  

I got my morning fix from sniffing the morning glories.   They sort of stink a bit, and they often had buzzy visitors, so i would pick a flower and carry it away from the plant and let what ever was on it fly away before I snuffled it.  

Touch me nots were next to the 4 oclocks.  They are a form of impatiens that pop out their seeds in an explosion when disturbed.  Popping out touch me nots was a lot of fun, and it ensured next years fun as well.

They always came back.

Grandma collected seeds from everything and put them in white envelops for safekeeping.  She wrote on the front with her beautiful old fashioned perfect script and tucked them away in a glass jar in the cupboard.

 I was talking to JC this am about a few random memories and these popped up like we had disturbed our seed pods.

I got ideas cascading out.


not done.  not done.

WE STOPPED THE WALK TO DO THE TALK...

WE STOPPED THE WALK

TO DO THE TALK...

date & setting:

September

Mitch and Abby's wedding reception...

I glanced to my left and glanced to my right...

I looked behind and straight ahead...in search of Matt.

So many people... standing, sitting, walking, staggering and bumping...

I cannot see, I am too short...

Here comes cousin Jeremy... He is built tall and wide...he will help me get through the crowd and to where I want to be quicker than if I tried on my own. “Jeremy, help me find Ashley”. Jeremy agrees without hesitation. He leads and I follow....me hanging on to the back of his shirt, we make our way around the bar. Laurie, where is Ashley? Her reply is “I'm not sure but I think she went outside. Just wait a minute and I will check”. I am hoping Ashley and Matt did not decide to leave the reception early. What I need to say is eating my innerds. I would give just about anything for a cigarette and a good stiff drink right about now. I need courage and calmness... Since I don't do either, I am on my own. Well, I gave Laurie about 30 seconds and then I started tracking her footsteps like a bloodhound. I am on a mission. A huge mission. I opened the door and started walking down the hall...alone but not for long. I see a very slender beautiful woman standing in the hall. It is Ashley whispering in her soft voice to Jada, one of Matt's daughters. To the right, there is a door ajar... and on the other side of the door stood Matt with his other daughter Hailey. “Hey Matt, are you hiding from me??? “No”... Matt says very quietly “but the girls are getting very tired and we are just about to leave”. I am thinking to myself...No No.....you can't leave yet...I have something I need to say...don't make me go through this another day. My mind is spinning, my heart is thumping and I blurt out, “I seen you on YouTube”. (ok...that was a brilliant move). YouTube he says with a very puzzled look and I said yeah with the dam breaking. Then he understood what I was getting at. Taking a deep breath and thinking to myself..I need to talk to Matt but alone. Laurie and Ashley and the girls walk ahead and this left me and Matt strolling slowly behind and just talking about whatever. (Laurie knows what I am about to ask Matt so she plays along). We are now about to enter through the last door that leads into the reception room and I need to make my move quickly. “Ok Matt, I need 2 minutes of your time”...(at this point, I am clenching my teeth and hoping he doesn't say that he doesn't have time right now and his family needs to get home. Please don't say that...I don't take rejection well......i would never be able to prepare myself to go through this at another time).

He didn't....we stopped the walk so I could do the talk...

OK Matt, I'm not getting any younger and you know my health isn't the best and I have a very special place in my heart for Ashley and I sure would love to see her walk down the aisle some day. Whew, I said it...now it is his turn...what words am I going to hear? Will he say when he feels the time is right he will make his move or that it is none of my business what goes on in his life? I waited maybe 2 seconds and he spoke. His response was “It will happen...and soon”! WHAT??? its like repeat that to me...WOW!!! OH, you just made me so happy...Matt was watching Ashley cuddling and comforting his daughters and he smiled so proudly and remarked on how they all care for and the love they have for each other. I could see the gleam in his eyes and almost the feeling that he had been waiting for this conversation. He was prepared with all the right answers. I proceeded to tell him about the card Ashley had posted...the one that Jada drew of a family on the inside of Ashley's birthday card. There are 4 people drawn and labeled. The first is dad and I was thinking that was Gilbert walking Ashley down the aisle and the 2 girls were Matt's daughters being the flower girls. I did not know that Jada had drawn the picture at this time. Soon I realized that dad=Matt standing next to Ashley and Jada and Hailey. What a happy family that would be. I am still just talking and glowing...I took a deep breath and said I that I needed to turn away from people so they cannot see the expressions on my face right now...if anyone had, they would have been able to read right through me. I was not about to let anyone know what had just been secretly worded to me. “It will happen...and soon”. My mind just blew away and all I can remember about our conversation after that was me saying Thank You, I shook his hand (I wanted to give him a big hug but again, it would have been a dead give-away) and telling him he can take his family home now. Right now, all I know is that “it will happen...and soon” and I feel very special for knowing this. Ahhhhh the suspense!!!

I turned, walked away and immediately Gilbert is standing side by side with me...fishing for answers. He also knew I was going to approach Matt. “Well, what happened” Gilbert asked. I replied with a sigh and said “Mitch was easier to talk to...I didn't get any answers from Matt”. Then Gilbert said “maybe he just needs to get to know the family more”and I said “yeah, I knew Mitch longer and felt more comfortable talking to him”. All this is not true...I was equally nervous both times. Matt was a perfect gentleman and had shown much respect while listening to me. I told Gilbert a little fib...wait---it was a big fib. Now Matt, if you know Gilbert like I know Gilbert, there will be payback coming my way for keeping this secret from him...but it will be worth it. I know something he doesn't know!!!!! Ha ha ha!!! I didn't even tell my soulmate...I figured after a few beers, he may let it slip from his lips and I'm not taking that chance.

I will add to this writing when Matt makes his move. I confess...I did tell daughter #2...I just had to confide with someone...she is sworn to secrecy...