a day to remember...

a bittersweet moment, as i am pulled aside
a mother at the height of intensity.. feeling her child has been woefully wronged
i breathe deep and wait patiently
i hear her
i nod
i affirm that her daughter has formidable talent
i tell her how proud i am of her daughter
...and i promise to call her tomorrow to discuss the judges' feedback.

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nerves were high.. you could feel the electricity in the air.  the energy buzzed louder than the excited voices and nervous whispers in the hallways. 

this is energy i often get drunk on..  but it took a toll on me yesterday.

my students were singing.  being judged.  and i felt their anguish and fear and excitement and all the things that go along with sharing something so incredibly intimate as their instrument.. their voice.. themselves.  multiply that feeling times six.  compound it with the fact that i had absolutely no control over any aspect of their performances.. or the outcome.  i felt so heavy. 

but how i felt didnt matter.  i had to put that all aside and focus on the students who were singing for me today.  the junior and senior collegiate singers who were presenting their voices and their hard work to me, anxious for feedback.. anxious for validation. 

tick tick tick.. in between judging students i look at my watch.. hm G is done singing now, i wonder how she did..  tick tick tick..  hm A is headed in now, sending good thoughts.. tick tick tick.. 

my girls.  six bright-eyed, fresh-faced, angelic voiced singers with their whole futures ahead of them.  MY girls.

think i was proud?  i knew we had a chance this year.   

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FINALLY!  FINALLY after six long years of hard work.. 

not one, but two of my students placed.
G placed twice.. second place in her two categories
A placed third in one of her categories
when G started to sing her second song for the audience.. i winked at her, and without missing a beat, that kid winked right back.  A gave the most flawless performance.. i found myself thinking.. this is my student?  OF COURSE she's my student!!  wow.
when they both were done performing their pieces.. back to back.. there wasnt a dry eye left in the concert hall.  you could hear the silence, feel the energy of the room shift.  here were two girls, ages 14 and 15, singing with the most pure, free, sweet production of sound.  their proud teacher astounded at their poise.  they were the youngest winners, but sang better than most of their older counterparts.  and i was not the only one who took notice.

teachers patted me on the back.  mothers cried.  fathers beamed.  one mom says.. 'you are gonna be SO booked!'

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a phone call is made.  an unnecessary apology given.  calm settles in and a plan to move forward is set.  everyone is smiling.

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all my students won that day.  the comments were great.  those judges must have had such a hard time choosing award winners..

i won that day.
i walked out of that concert hall.. ten feet tall.