Blog Manifesto

Blog Manifesto


This blog is dedicated, as the title would suggest, to the qualities of being young. We are young writers. We are playful and sensitive, fluid and changing. We are unashamed with our art. We wonder at the world, puzzle over the meanings of things and twirl in delight at images and ideas that float by, grabbing at them as they pass. We are curious and constantly inquiring and prying concepts open and taking assumptions apart. We are on the ground, close to the earth. We have bare feet and wiggle our toes into nature. We carry our blankies still and wrap up cozy and comfy with each other and tell ghost stories and shiver at creepy things. We laugh and we cry and we take a lot of naps, drained from our outings and exertions.

We write as gifts to each other, tying them up in ribbon and leaving them around for each other to find, hiding and waiting for the person to wake up and read. Surprise! We weave our stories together to create a bond. One writes, then the other. then another again. We have a shared reality that we have crafted, bit by piece by patch, by string. We write simple, honest authentic things, with our unique voices. You can tell each one of us from the other, without knowing who wrote what. Our voices are clear and gentle and original. We whisper and our personalities roar! Like children, our feelings are strong, our passion for what we write shakes us. We are moved and sometimes left breathless, by our own words or the words of each other. We cannonball into each others spaces. We fall backward into each others writing, like into a pile of leaves or a soft bed. We gobble and grin and ask for more. (footnote kudos to JC)

Then we go to bed, wake up to a new day and do it all over again!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

muscle memory

my neck is KILLING me.  who knows why.  ok ok.. i have an inkling as to why.  i had an extremely stressful week.  one which i would like to forget.. yet my body wont let me. 

the body has a physical memory.. the muscles.. beyond the mind. 
repetitive motion.. creates a groove.. creates a habit.. and we are all habit forming in nature. 
singing is all about muscle memory.  for so many of my students, singing is a release.  they feel better when they sing.  both mentally and physically. 
for me it is work.  i enjoy it.  but it is work.  and when tension creeps in, im incapacitated.

im trying to work out the kinks.  heating pad.. ibuprofen.. kneading fingers and thumbs.. ice.. repeat..
nothing is working.

my mind is trying to work out kinks.. internally.. circling round and round.  but this merry-go-round aint so fun.  i try to imagine why people do and say the cruel things they do.  why someone would want to take advantage of my good nature.  like i dont understand people, when i do.  i am deeply wounded by stupid bullshit words.  i tell myself they are bullshit.  and i know that they are bullshit.  i even deleted all the bullshit.  but still i feel the venom.  and i feel guilt.  intense searing guilt. 
shame, denial, guilt. 

i betrayed Self. 

swallow.

breathe.

try and turn your head.

this is emotional muscle memory.  i worked long and hard at defeating myself.
it's gonna be a while.

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