the task master

im seething a little and its seeping out.  so im writing about it.

my oldest student was snide with me today.  he often gets this way when he has missed breakfast.  i know when he is in one of these moods when he starts muttering under his breath.  he tends to be irritable and unpleasant at times, and what he often perceives as an under the breath, off-handed remark tends to be loud enough for me to hear.  i try not to take it personally and i usually let it slide. 

today there was a lot of muttering.  and being rather irritable myself, i called him on it.

ok, charlie, let's sing this five note pattern (demonstration) 

we sing a few together

i stop, turn to him and ask him a simple question, coaxing him to think about what he physically felt as he was singing.

muttering.  i glance over at him.  he answers the question with an 'i don't know'

so i tell him what to look for.. what to feel for.  and we sing again.

this is not the first or the second or even the third time we have gone over this concept.  in teaching.. repetition is everything and i realize i seem redundant at times.  but if a student doesnt get it the first time, you repeat.. you find ways to encourage.. you find ways that make sense to the student.  i ask them questions often times, not for their sake.. but for mine.  im asking them.. how do you learn so that i may better teach you?

ok, charlie, why is it important not to shape the vowel as you sing?

muttering.  again.  'you are such a school teacher.'

it wasnt what he said that ticked me off.  it was how he said it.  an exasperated, simpering, judgemental tone. 

any other day, i would have ignored it.  but today.. im in no mood for bullshit.

what??  i shoot him a piercing glance. 

he shuffles, squirms, catches my glance and looks at his feet. 'always asking questions!  just give me the answers.  such a task master.  just tell me what to do.'

im offended.  if you dont want to think, maybe you should find another teacher.

he has been studying with me for 11 years.
'i dont want another teacher.'  he says in a somber, more reflective tone. 

alright then, let's continue.

but.. for the remainder of the lesson, every time a question formed on my lips.. i pointed out that since he didnt want to think today, i would just tell him the answer. 
i shouldnt have caved. 
i have principles. 
and i am angry. 

i have a performance tomorrow.  its draining me dry.  and i have 6 more students.. all with their own issues.. to contend with today.  i want to run.