Oh I wish.

He followed her down the alleyway, against his will, against his better judgement.  It was too early.  This one looked well fed and clean.   This girl had a home to go to.  He knew it.   He felt it in his bones.  

Turn back...  Stop.   Change direction.   He forced his feet forward, one in front of the other.   He shut his eyes and remembered his mother's warm hands on his forehead.    Find me one, she had said.   Bring me one home.  He dared not disobey.   He would not face her empty handed like yesterday.  He could barely walk straight after yesterday's beatings.  He shivered at the touch of the wall on his shoulder.

He hated his life, but he saw no way out.   Day after day he walked the city, looking for strays.  As the murders had increased in number, more and more parents were guarding their offspring.  He came back later and later in the night, and sometimes empty handed.   She was insatiable, a malignant force that didn't flicker or wane. 

Sometimes he longed for freedom to rest and catch his breath.   He longed for the cravings to dampen.  He felt driven and out of control of his destiny.   Like a fly twisting in the spider's web, he followed the girl till he caught up in the darkest doorway.  He felt stuck and squirmed in a moment of free will.

He grabbed her from behind and muffled her screams with a ready damp handkerchief.  She swooned and collapsed to the ground.  His sweat and fear dripped onto her pale dress.  Oh my God!  He saw her face for the first time, full on.  She was an angel of innocence and beauty.  Golden ringlets cascaded down her neck.  Her cheeks were rosy and round like a cherub in a painting.  His groin stirred with lust and desire.  He wanted her so badly.  He lifted up her skirt. 


Then  he dropped it in disgust as he was torn in two.  Mama wants her first.  He could have her after mama was done.   The thought of Mama made him cry in sorrow at the poor girl's fate.   In a sudden act of courage and defiance,  he sliced her throat quickly in one stroke and hurried away into the night.  shaking with grief and nausea.

A few doors down, he slit his own and slumped to the ground, and lay still waiting for death to come.   It came very slowly.