Forever Young: {[ Worry WORRY Worry ]}

Blog Manifesto

This blog is dedicated, as the title would suggest, to the qualities of being young. We are young writers. We are playful and sensitive, fluid and changing. We are unashamed with our art. We wonder at the world, puzzle over the meanings of things and twirl in delight at images and ideas that float by, grabbing at them as they pass. We are curious and constantly inquiring and prying concepts open and taking assumptions apart. We are on the ground, close to the earth. We have bare feet and wiggle our toes into nature. We carry our blankies still and wrap up cozy and comfy with each other and tell ghost stories and shiver at creepy things. We laugh and we cry and we take a lot of naps, drained from our outings and exertions.

We write as gifts to each other, tying them up in ribbon and leaving them around for each other to find, hiding and waiting for the person to wake up and read. Surprise! We weave our stories together to create a bond. One writes, then the other. then another again. We have a shared reality that we have crafted, bit by piece by patch, by string. We write simple, honest authentic things, with our unique voices. You can tell each one of us from the other, without knowing who wrote what. Our voices are clear and gentle and original. We whisper and our personalities roar! Like children, our feelings are strong, our passion for what we write shakes us. We are moved and sometimes left breathless, by our own words or the words of each other. We cannonball into each others spaces. We fall backward into each others writing, like into a pile of leaves or a soft bed. We gobble and grin and ask for more. (footnote kudos to JC)

Then we go to bed, wake up to a new day and do it all over again!

Saturday, March 10, 2012

{[ Worry WORRY Worry ]}

I worry all the time about things.I worry when my son comes home and tell me that his old "father" figure is at his school trying to talk to him. I worry that he is going to scoop him up and walk out of the doors with him with no one watching. Considering the school that Cameron is going to is not my pick. The teachers are cruel and absolutely stupid. But I'll leave that story for a different day. Maybe tomorrow.

I worry that his real father is watching behind bushes and trees in my neighborhood laughing at me while I sit in a vehicle in my driveway crying ..just crying. Trying to get up the nerve to turn the key to start the car. I worry that him and his brothers are peaking though my window watching me sleep. Wanting to push up my window and come in and ..hurt me again. And again..like in my dreams.

I worry that I wont make it to tomorrow.

I worry about Cameron telling me that kids are making fun of him because his mommie is big.

I used to know how that felt. My mom is big and kids use to tease me about it. I worry that I'll never loose weight. I worry that I'll be like this forever.

I worry that my father is getting sicker everyday. I worry if anyone in my family really gives a damn about me other then my son. I worry if when I don't do something right .. if I will get hit. I worry that there is someone always standing behind me watching what I am doing and if I am doing it the way they like. Cause I know that if things aren't done right that punishment is due. So I get ready to curl up in a ball and hold my ears till its all over. ..over..and over again. I worry about that car I still haven't toook the time to get in and try to at least drive. I worry..and I worry some more about someone that is so dear to me. Someone I wouldn't give up if it was the end of the world. I'd probably just fall into a river and drown if that ever happened. I wouldn't know how to breath. I'd gasp for air and finally probably just let go. ..so yea I worry.

1 comment:

SharonMarch 20, 2012 at 7:37 PM
You are so lucky to have your son. He is lucky to have you.
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