Blog Manifesto

Blog Manifesto


This blog is dedicated, as the title would suggest, to the qualities of being young. We are young writers. We are playful and sensitive, fluid and changing. We are unashamed with our art. We wonder at the world, puzzle over the meanings of things and twirl in delight at images and ideas that float by, grabbing at them as they pass. We are curious and constantly inquiring and prying concepts open and taking assumptions apart. We are on the ground, close to the earth. We have bare feet and wiggle our toes into nature. We carry our blankies still and wrap up cozy and comfy with each other and tell ghost stories and shiver at creepy things. We laugh and we cry and we take a lot of naps, drained from our outings and exertions.

We write as gifts to each other, tying them up in ribbon and leaving them around for each other to find, hiding and waiting for the person to wake up and read. Surprise! We weave our stories together to create a bond. One writes, then the other. then another again. We have a shared reality that we have crafted, bit by piece by patch, by string. We write simple, honest authentic things, with our unique voices. You can tell each one of us from the other, without knowing who wrote what. Our voices are clear and gentle and original. We whisper and our personalities roar! Like children, our feelings are strong, our passion for what we write shakes us. We are moved and sometimes left breathless, by our own words or the words of each other. We cannonball into each others spaces. We fall backward into each others writing, like into a pile of leaves or a soft bed. We gobble and grin and ask for more. (footnote kudos to JC)

Then we go to bed, wake up to a new day and do it all over again!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Tolerance...

The practice of permitting a thing of which one disapproves... an open permissiveness towards different beliefs. 

 My husband and I butt heads in only one thing; parenting our difficult child.  Everything else in our married lives is congruent or negotiable.  He is easy going about somethings.  I am easy going about others, but we just don't agree on setting limits for our son.  He wants our son to be happy.  I want him to be independent and disciplined.

 We agree about how to spend our leisure time, how to handle the money mostly, how often to have sex,  what to eat on Sunday, who to vote for, whether to recycle, vacations, everything else.

When our kid was little, it was always. 'Okay you can have one more.  Don't tell mom.'  Our son quickly learned to triangulate us and played one against the other for years.  I'm so thoroughly sick of it.  The therapists have pointed out the necessity of consequences, the importance of limit setting. They shake their heads at us and patiently discuss our different philosophies.

We were once required to write out a list of our son's expectations or responsibilities.  Dan's had a list with the words,  Have a good time, and Be happy.  Mine was, keep your clothes up from floor and do homework and empty the dishwasher.

Not only were we not on the same page, we weren't in the same universe. 

The last family therapist quit in disgust.  This one is patient and long suffering, but has said privately that I have two teenagers on my hands.  This caused me to lose a little respect for my husband for a short time.  But I tolerate it.

And tolerate it.


And tolerate it.


And tolerate it.

There is no end in sight and a shiny newer green bike in our son's careless hands.
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2 comments:

  1. SharonMarch 20, 2012 at 3:27 PM

    Terrific expression of the dilemma. I know many parents of challenging children who should get a chance to read this. Can you submit it to some magazines? Or is that beyond your comfort zone?
    I have seen this so often with my student's parents but never seen it so well described! Super.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RosieMarch 20, 2012 at 4:36 PM

      Yeah, I should submit it, but it's too honest.

      Delete

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