When Mary was 5, I fell in love with her. She was such a feisty willful thing. She came up to me at a pre-marriage family visit and smacked me a good one in my stomach. I popped her a good one back, with a stern warning to not repeat that. She gave me a speculative look and decided I meant it. We became fast tight buddies.
She had been born the youngest into the swirling chaos of my husbands family, during the Tommy Troubles and with 4 teen and grown children going all sorts of ways. She confided in me that she wanted to come live with us after we got married.
"You are too young," I said "You have to stay with your mother till you are older. " I folded her into my arms.
=====================================================================
I kept in touch with Mary. I crafted a doll for her, I wrote her stories. I sent her pictures and cartoons and presents that made messes and noise. I sewed her clothes. There was a divorce. It wasn't a graceful one.
When she was nine, we were asked to come live with her mom and help raise her. She was a handful and about to be transferred into an emotionally disturbed classroom if she didn't turn around her behavior. Well I wasn't having that.
We got there after a road trip where we lost our beloved dog in Ohio. Not an auspicious beginning...Danny got a job at the Waldorf Astoria in the city, ( and when I say city, I mean NYC) and I got a job at Playtex at their company headquarters (bomb story later)
The very first day we were there, I came down to a quiet house, but there was a rather large girl trying to hide behind a kitchen door. Oh for heaven's sake. she was not going to go to school? Oh yes you are. I drug her to school more or less by her sleeve and back of the neck and promised that her fears of being humiliated at gym class was going to be fixed by me ASAP. It turned out that she was in the special gym class and they had to do a somersault and she was too embarrassed to try it.
What 9 year old can't turn a somersault,? I thought. This one couldn't. She was timid and determined not to cooperate, very stiff and emotionally defeated. I had to negotiate with her. She was totally panicked. "Look, lets do this. Let's just take it in pieces and just do the first part, the preparation. Get up on the bed... you won't fall off. I promise. No, I give you permission to tumble on your bed... it's perfect for that. Now put your head down and your bottom up in the air. Tuck in your chin to your chest.
That's not so bad, huh? Now try it again...
Flip.
I grabbed her neck and butt and flipped her over so quickly. She squeaked a bit and came up flushed. I had my hands behind my back, looking innocent. She thought about being furious.
"Look what you did, you somersaulted!" Big grin. She starts to grin then laugh. She got up there again and I helped her over a bit.
over she went.
pretty soon she was flipping around all over the place. on the rug. Running to show her mom. Flipping butt up for Danny to see. She was ecstatic.
The next day in gym class, she lines up, waits her turn and by golly over she goes.
A special place in hell for gym teachers who leave little girls to be embarrassed and suffer.
=======================================================================
We got news that MIL had moved a man into the house, a live in lover and that Mary wasn't adjusting very well. We heard that he had touched her budding age 11 chest and it had upset her, but that her mother wasn't being protective of her as she should have been. I was having none of that. We started the process of having Mary come to live with us. We negotiated her visiting for the summer. and once we got her safely with us, I simply refused to return her. I went up against them all.
Now i am going to skip her amazing teen age years, with tons of adventures, up and downs, braces and bracing ski trips and private school for our little fire cracker that she worked her way through and go right to the Bering Straits with her.
We raised her to be strong, and independent and tough.
======================================================================
Mary had a portfolio when she got out of college that was impressive enough to land her an amazing job as the Biologist Observer for the US government shipping out on a Korean Fishing Vessel in the Bering Straits off the coast of Alaska.
The only female on the ship, the only American on the ship and 30 foot waves to boot. OMG I raised her strong but that was way over the top.
They ferried her out to the boat using a tug then put her in a sphere crane and transferred her aboard that way. She didn't tell me till later that season had loss of American personnel in the squalls that she braved and the ferry that went down in that very storm system. She told tales of the hard work, being waist high in fish and examining it for dolphins and contraband fish and gesturing for them to throw the stuff back in as she looked it over. She tried to make light of the giant freak wave that came and grabbed them all hard and she and a Korean deck mate clung to each other for dear life, literally for dear life, while the wave retreated down the back of the open deck. She told of the doctor on board amputating a man's crushed leg without anesthesia and how the screams could be heard for a long time throughout the ship. She talked of the processing plant down below that was ankle deep in liquid and blood and the people who worked in it gutting, filleting and freezing the fish as it came in by the cargo hold each day.
And she shared the thrill of having kiwi's like they were parsley on every plate because they were so plentiful where the vessel had stocked up its larder. She told of the short stocky Korean man that had fallen infatuated with her and tried to present her with his gold watch. He told her in his labored broken English, "My eyes will leak big water for you when you leave"
No comments:
Post a Comment